i’ve never felt so constantly angry like i have been lately and i don’t know what to do about it. i can’t take this anymore. what the fuck why does everything make me mad

i do absolutely everything i can for you two no matter what and i get treated like shit in return. and fuck the miles and the busy lives bullshit because oh yeah i forgot i’m sitting here in virginia with my thumb up my ass. what the fuck is happening? what is wrong? i’m waking up, that’s what.

vague text post…

in approximately 66 hours, 240 miles will mean NOTHING except for some pretty tough decisions. the struggle is so real, that i may die of stress and nerves. so i may just hole up in my room with ashley and pepino all break because right now they’re the only two who can keep me calm. at least natalia and valeria will get me through the rest of this week by understanding my side, but i need ashley to slap me with reality. ugh

but literally…

I waited eight long months, she finally set him free

I told him I couldn’t lie, he was the only one for me

Two weeks and we caught on fire

She’s got it out for me but I wear the biggest smile


it wasn’t until today that i realized how much has happened to me since i turned eighteen. sure big changes and new experiences happened at other ages, but nothing can compare to what i’ve gone through so far at this age. i still have seven months of being eighteen and i can’t wait to see what happens.

but how long does it really take for lucas to get ready and come to our room? i’m so impatient right now i just wanna goooo

first day of classes tomorrow!

and i’m pretty excited! i’m talking to his majesty about it and he’s so cute!!! <333 i miss him so much! all my pictures with him are on my old computer :(

i got the royal treatment today

hahahahhahaha. it was my last day at the castle so they let me do whatever i wanted. this has been such a tearful last few days. i would have never of thought that i’d cry so much for these people. if you’d ask me a year ago how i felt about that place and those people, i’d tell you i hate it with a burning passion. but i have made some of the greatest memories and the greatest friendships in that castle. it doesn’t even need to rain tomorrow because my tears will flood the party. waking up super early tomorrow to spend as much time as i can with most of them :’(